Sometimes, despite hearing bible verses about fixing our gaze on Jesus or thinking about heavenly things, our minds can still get so wrapped up in doing good and being responsible. We can prioritize our to-do list and things to take care of. Not only that, we see and observe our shortcomings relationally or in character. And then, in God’s mercy, when we stop for a moment, a mere minute. He reminds us of himself. “Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God.” Romans 10:4
So often, my mind fills with the ways I have not achieved, accomplished, or lived out that which God has called me to. I find it feels like, on a daily basis, that I am stagnant and have controlled my environment enough for peace and a measure of predictability, and yet he doesn’t feel near. And so, when I thirst for consolation for life in the spiritual sense again, I am reminded of something that Christ accomplished that I never will be able to achieve of my own effort or stubborn persistence, being made right with God.
Even if I was disciplined in every area of my life, I would bear much fruit and with that, much reward, but I would not earn his affection. I would not achieve reconciliation. Despite this, it is not a reason not to become more disciplined, to learn, to grow, to listen, and to seek. I just have to make my peace that God has already given me the cup of salvation, complete and whole, from the work he accomplished through his suffering. I then remember Jesus in the equation of my own self-evaluation.
My acceptance has already been paid for. Christ’s suffering was not incomplete. God is not looking for me to become my own savior. Striving cannot achieve righteousness; that’s not how Heaven has designed our relationship with Himself. I am still on milk, infant and young. I cannot get over the constant wave of his good news crashing repeatedly on the shore of everything my independence tries to resist, preserve, and build.
And yet, without me asking, without me yielding and surrendering, not letting myself off the hook, he comes to me in kindness. He approaches me with dignity, respect, honor, and truth. He reminds me again and again of what my spirit and brain seem to forget so quickly, like trying to hold sand or water in my hand, that he is good. He is for me. He enjoys me. He likes me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to enjoy my life. To be whole. To be known and celebrated.
I have value. I have gifts. I am a blessing. I have been adopted into his family. I have a home, and I belong in Him. For some reason, I always feel like I choose to remain standing on the threshold of the entryway. I’ve been invited into the party of heaven. I can see it happening; I know I am welcome, but rather than participate, I linger at the door. I would rather be nowhere else outside this place, but I have not yet allowed myself to stay seated and remain comfortable in his love for me. I cannot tell you why. I’m just hoping that when the door to this party shuts I am on the right side. Just accepting the access I’ve been granted is my minimum standard. That heaven will tolerate my presence because of his sacrifice, but I didn’t do much with that costly gift, and surely the measure I poured back was disappointing.
I remember the Lord asking me one day while I was getting ready in my bathroom. Why do you not think I will celebrate you? When your life is over, and you’re in my presence, why do you not think I will see the good that happened as a result of your life and celebrate all the love that was? I could not give him an answer. Even now, I anticipate and fear his reproach. I know these themes are not true. But perhaps I still feel like I need my own protection to beat him or anyone else to the punch.
I know I am safe with him. He is the safest place for me to exist in. He created me and knows everything about me. Not only the whats but the whys. The whys I can’t seem to figure out. My connection with him is something I know lives, but in confession, I don’t do much to foster its growth. I did, once. I complain more than I want to, and my heart is colder than I would like. I care less than I should, and I remember being more fun. I know the narrative of ‘this is just what getting older is like’ is a lie every time I encounter a 40 or 50-year-old with the twinkle of heaven’s joy in their eye. My perspective is my choice.
I shared this post to remind you of what God reminds me. I have a savior. He is good at his job. His promises to me are still real and still stand. I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior despite my failures and shortcomings. I love him, and I think he has asked me to write. These words may not be as chipper as they were ten years ago, but he is just as worthy, and I am still loved as much as I was then. I am still chosen. God is still hopeful. I am still his. He is still mine. And this is me at this time.
To leave you with his words and not my own, Romans 6:11 says, “And since grace is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved.”
Category: Reflections & Musings
Uncategorizable writing basically.
To The Aged; Redefine Your Outlook Thru Scripture
As I was reading my bible last night, I wasn’t reading any direct account of this, but I had a lens to see so many elderly people in scripture actually displaying the culmination of God in their lives during this season. Modern American society would have those nearing their elder years to feel comfortable dimming their vision in life, get comfortable in a viewing seat and no longer speaking up.
I want to declare that God has never overlooked someone in the story of His glory based on their age. So many circumstances in your life you endured to test your character, to strip away ego, to round out your wisdom. There has been purpose in every step along the way. If you are viewing yourself as elderly, your impact in God’s kingdom on this earth is not over with and God wants you to know he has not withdrawn his eye from you. The first supernatural encounter we hear of in Moses’ life was when he was 80 years old. Abraham didn’t receive the promise God had given him at a much younger age until the season of bearing offspring (fruit) was over at 100 years.
Do not limit God’s ability to move through your because you are reducing your perspective of his ability due to your age or season in life. He is not limited by your timeline but is limitless in the faithfulness of his promises over your life. There are great adventures in God in store yet for those of you advanced in years. Adventures you have been waiting a lifetime for. Expect God to be supernatural, expect him to move, there are yet new things in God, you are still a child of the king- heir and recipient of everything Christ died to give humanity.
Do not limit your perspective on who he is by looking around you and accepting what society is handing you. This is not your portion. Look to him for what is next in your life and continue to be open to hearing God, stepping out in faith, taking risk, and loving others and yourself extravagantly. This season is gift to be celebrated and embraced fully through the power of his spirit living inside you. You are a blessing to the body of Christ and you are needed in this hour for the fullness of his glory to be seen in His body on the earth.
Scripture Medicine for 2023: Do Not Fray
“All who love me will do what I say.
Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me.
I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. (John 14:23, 24, 27 NLT partial)
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” -Jesus (John 14:27 KJV partial)
Let – allow, permit, give admission, authorize, sanction, grant, empower, enable, agree, permit to pass, rent out, let
Not – the negation of, the opposite of a verb
Your – belonging to, possessive, ownership
Heart – the central innermost part of something, the vital essence, the thoughts, the feelings, the mind, center of physical & spiritual wellbeing, seat of understanding, character, the soul, innermost part
Troubled – disturb, worry, anxious, agitate, distress, torment, plague, nag, irritate, gnaw at, prey on someone’s mind, lie heavy on the mind, oppress, weigh down, afflict, burden, bug, bother, fret, agonize, upset oneself, be concerned, hassle, be afflicted with, bedeviled, beset, incapacitated, suffer from, ail, be a martyr to, experiencing distress, anxiety, beset by problems or conflict, a difficult situation or time, a cause of worry, an aspect of something regarded as unsatisfactory or difficulty, cause distress or anxiety to or about
Troubled. Greek 5015. tarassō
1. to agitate, trouble, cause inward commotion, take away calmness of mind, disturb equanimity
2. to disquiet, make restless
3. to strike one’s spirit with fear and dread
4. to render anxious; distressed
5. to perplex the mind by suggesting doubts and scruples
Neither – additional negative statement
Afraid – frightened, scared, fearful, nervous, apprehensive, intimidated, uneasy, alarmed, tense, worried, panicky, frightened, beside oneself, frantic, shaking, cowering, cowardly, funk, nervy, fluster, jumpy, jittery, reluctant, unwilling, hesitant, slow, shy, averse, sorry, sad, distressed, regretful, apologetic, unhappy, remorseful afraid of someone or something, worrying that something undesirable will occur or be done, unwilling or reluctant to do something for fear of outcome, anxious about well-bring or safety of, express polite or formal apology or regret
Afraid. Greek 1168. deliliaō
1. to be timid
2. to be of fear
3. to be fearful
From Greek 1167. deilia
a. timidity, fear, cowardice, fearfulness
From Greek 1169. deilos
a. Dread; that is by implication faithless
Afraid derives from the latin word, Affray – Afrayer, disturbing peace.
Afrayer derives from latin word Fray – Disturbance, startle; the unraveling of peace or safety
Jesus’ commandment to his followers restated in different ways:
Do not permit your heart to be faithless.
Do not allow the peace in your heart that I have given you begin to fray by any mental or emotional agitation or threat.
Do not give room to any thoughts that intimidate the safety I have bought for you with my blood.
Under no circumstance allow your spirit to shaken about anything, ever.
Keep the cords of your peace soundly and stoutly entact. Do not tolerate imaginations that fray your stillness and restfulness.
Be still. Give no permission to agitation within yourself.
Make no allowance or space inside of yourself for any expectation of negative outcomes.
Your faith and focus on myself is what pushes out or eliminates room for cowardess, timidity, or hesitation.
The world does not have the ability to restore or keep your peace. You will not be able to look to a change in your circumstance for stillness and soundness in your spirit in mind. What you need for that I have given you freely but it is up to you to defend, maintain, and enforce the entactness of this gift. Thoughts and feelings that result i this gift beginning to fray are lies that do not originate from the Father that need to be refused and refuted.
You have authority over your own heart to refuse participation and agreement with fear.
Unwavering fixation on Christ in our heart and mind enable the broadband defense, restoration, and maintenance of this kingdom of peace in our inmost being. It cannot be shaken. We are either standing on thoughts of sand or the rock of himself.
It is obedience (worship, expressed love unto Jesus) to no longer tolerate, permit fear to have governance in the core of your being.
This general directive is stated 365 times in the bible.
God is trying to tell us humans something from his perspective as we walk through our lives here on earth.
This year is not an exception. Every generation has needed to hear and heed these words.
May this reflection afford you clarity. Blessing and Happy New Year
Change is in the Air
I promise this piece is not about a new administration, but that new administration is part of what I’m referring to. I love to write about what I observe. Within the last two months there are 8 significant people in my life that are having significant shifts in jobs regarding their long labor of love, destinies, and increase in authority and influence. This is a new season! I observe things but never think about naming them because I know their purpose is as transient as the wind in God’s work in orchestrating the hearts of men. “Upgrade” sounds cheesy and christian dumb but it is all that is coming to mind. I also know that overtime, faithful labor commonly results in reward increase, its just natural in the flow of life, but I’m telling you I don’t talk to a bunch of people and when eight of them are experiencing this how can one miss it?!?
I LOVE change. I love risk. I love the undetermined and the uncertain. It feels like traveling but I don’t even leave town. Ironically we did abruptly leave town to care for some family, but often when there is significant change God peels my whiny-souled fingers from gripping anything tightly and I recognize his hand taking mind and relax once again to rest in watching him work, only aiming to be authentic to myself and what I communicate in the process, being sure to never never never manipulate an outcome. Who wants to be the disappointing Saul as he ascended into leadership? No one. Manipulating the affections of men, feels stinky to my soul and if anything I have to intentionally avoid swinging too much in the opposite direction and not shut down my authenticity in some way.
One thing I do know is that I sure appreciate the verses that relatively say. God is in control over bringing about the calling on your life and the purposes of why you were made. I don’t even know why I’m made or what the point of everything is, but I do know what it feels like to spend my days executing things I am especially competent for or excited about. I hope you are operating in your niche. Don’t worry about what that looked like in past seasons, you’re not meant to carry your yesterday identity into today if God’s not calling for it. I often remember old versions of myself but those illusions don’t exist now. They used to, but are intangible. Just think how much bs I no longer put up with because of this glorious wisdom I came across through grand failure?
All I keep trying to focus on seasons of change like this is operating out of love. What else really matters? God is going to position us where he wants us. There will be challenges that are uncomfortable –that’s called growth by the way. But what can I control? How I interact with people and how I carry my heart regarding people in my internal world. How kind can I be? What does extravagant kindness cost me? Does love really cover all in my life? If so, where doesn’t love cover all in my relationships with other people? Don’t get me wrong, in my tired moments or sensitive areas, I can still be a jerk, but often even that is magnified in my head and is a position of my heart I have to change my mind about because it’s obviously not working, or at the very least, not fun.
If you are going through uncertain change, know you are not alone, there is a wave you are riding that you cannot control, and you have been prepared for this. Take rest in his sovereignty, his plans, and his goodness, whether or not you understand it or whether or not you have the answers you want right now. Blessings!
