Category: Reflections & Musings

Uncategorizable writing basically.

Looking Forward. Who Cares?

On By happyreignIn Reflections & Musings2 Comments

I’m sitting down not knowing what I’m going to write but just want to share my heart with you.  Christmas for 2017 has passed.  The decorations are up still holding on.  A new year before all of us is just around the corner.

Unfortunately I often find myself wishing I were somewhere else, a different place, a different state of mind, a different version of myself.  What am I fearful of?  Others opinions, failure, my own expectations?   Christmas has a gravitational way of bringing us into the preciousness of the moments of now.  Memories are being created for a lifetime or loved ones who have left us join our minds and hearts again so strongly for the holiday time.

I ate so much junk food over Christmas I made my blood pressure sore and my head pound, and yet there was no where else I would have rather been.  Here with my family, here in a place I know, with people who have been around me my whole life.  As I look forward, I am refreshed with the inspiration not to care.  Let me explain.

When your heart is full, it does not focus on what is lacking, how you are not measuring up.  I am feeling an authority run through my veins that I have not felt for some time and for that I am grateful.  My husband and I have gone far beyond even our own expectations and are in a land we have never been before in together, the unknown in this unmapped land of submission.

This is the part of my husband I could not live without.  It is easy to make something happen.  Easy to strive or fill in the gaps that scream, “How is this productive for God’s kingdom?!?!”  We like to stay workers.  We like to earn our approval.  And yet, my husband and I have been forced to let God adorn us as nothing less than a son and daughter.  We will receive our inheritance that our father earned.  He gives it gladly, with abundance and pride.

Nothing is too difficult for God, nothing too hard for him to orchestrate or arrange.  He is not questioning Joel or I’s value in this season.  In our rest, in our waiting, we remain as valuable as his son, as valuable as himself.

This voice on my back of need to defend my worth through my ‘ministry’ has been loud and been driving.  It has stolen my rest and my peace.  But I think after an unending series of days, not having answers to anyone’s questions, I think it may finally be dead.  And again I find that God has done something inside of me that I could not have seen or accomplished on my own.  I get to just be.  I am enough.

His love will continue.  His love will remain and he will never fail us, never abandon us, and never give up doing whatever he wants to in our lives.  Even now there are new sprouts growing in the ground.  Little things walked by and recognized by no one.  But that’s okay.  They weren’t planted to be seen by others.

The new growth comes from the land of not caring.  It’s not that there is no value in anything.  Exactly the opposite.  Everything is filled with such value, you care nothing for the things that really don’t matter–like attention or praise or acceptance by others.

I had a dream the other night where I was in front of an audience doing something that everyone else belittled in their mind and I didn’t care one bit and proceeded to pursue my interests and activities.  After the event was over I was continued to be scorned even by prostitutes as that person who did something that everybody thought was meaningless and stupid.  I still didn’t care and was glad to be me.  And it felt good.  Really good.  Who cares.  Be you.

Judgement Free Living??

On By happyreignIn Heather, Reflections & MusingsLeave a comment

I heard a quote from somebody on you  tube last summer that I’ve never heard said before.  They said, “I never judge anybody.”  Whether or not this was true, the audacity of a person to live with the conviction of never judging anybody was still admirable.  It was like a thought that was too impossible to believe but upon hearing it was like a new air I wanted to keep breathing.

This may sound like an overly simple topic for Jesus himself said, “Do not judge.”  Pretty straight forward.  But for a human person other than Jesus himself to casually dialogue as if that reality was possible was entirely heavenly.

The world would play us on a string to have us do just the opposite.  Compare, condemn, divide, get defensive, get offended, react, live in opposition and controversy.  It is “cool” to be opinionated and not close minded.  The idea of not judging is cool but is often in reality partial as it stands in harsh condemnation of very judgmental religious institutions, therefore nullifying their non-judging stance.

But to really, I mean really, have the perspective in life that you have never walked in anyone else’s shoes, you have never lived their life, felt what they’ve felt, and been forced to make the decisions they have, never, for anyone, other than yourself.  Yet all of us undoubtable stand in judgment of some “other,” some “wrong” individuals in our perspective.

Here’s what this does: it only hurts ourselves.  When we stand in judgment of someone, of some hatred of act or word, whether based on politics, crime, color, or creed, we are smothering our own nature that was created in God’s image to love.  It suffocates our joy.

When we make snap judgments at news headlines and video clips we diminished our capacity for understanding and compassion.  He deny our role in helping where there is possible hurting need.  We remove ourselves from another’s humanity.

And what that does is deny the Christ that is living in every person.  Whether you agree with someone or not, whether you would have theoretically made differently choices than they have, they are still a living, breathing creation of God.  His life is breathing through them and he is experiencing life through what they experience, the good and the bad.  Nothing nullifies the value Christ’s death and resurrection has given all of humanity.  ALL OF HUMANITY.  Especially our enemies, especially those different from us.

Do not hurt yourself, do not deny your true nature as an origin of love, by judging another, by condemning them, by withholding your grace.  Do not suffocate the breathe of love that lives within you.  If you try and not judge, I will not try to judge either.  God bless.

Not 1% Less

On By happyreignIn Heather, Reflections & MusingsLeave a comment

So I want to share with you a journey I have had in the lasts few years.  It began in a bad place.  It really didn’t have to be that bad but there was one move I made that I will not make again.

People make mistakes.  Maybe you never have.  Maybe you have never made the wrong decision or never said something hurtful to anyone or said anything negative behind someone’s back.  Maybe.

It all began when I made a series of mistakes.  I concluded something and it was the wrong conclusion, which led to the wrong behaviors.  I can’t change that and I’m okay with that now.  But that’s not my point in this article, what I did that I will never do again, is turn my back on myself.


I have become very familiar with these thoughts inside our heads that will replay mistakes, or wrong words, or wrong conclusions.  At first I believed them because I thought they were true.  For example, I was wrong, therefore I should like myself less.  This equation is not true in heaven.

I was wrong!  And it really affected people.  And I still have permission to love myself today!  I thought I was worth being thought less of.  In a way, I was punishing myself because I thought that’s what I deserved.  I questioned myself and doubted my partnership with God.  BUT did you know there are no mistakes in heaven?!?!

Did you know that maybe I was setup to experience this whole in my character so that God could build a new thing there??  Learning requires humility to not know something to begin with.  All of these things are okay and never have to involve the self-destruction of shame, guilt, condemnation, or exclusion.

Did you know God still loves you and values you?  He never thinks less of you based on this learning journey you are on??  Did you know he speaks of your value, your worth, and your ability to always brush yourself of and dive right back into life.  SO….

In conclusion, you may be having other thoughts.  Even small incremental thoughts that get you to like yourself just a little bit less, maybe even one percent.  I don’t believe these thoughts anymore.  None of them.  For any conversation, presentation, appearance or decision.  Not one percent less.  They are not from heaven, and God will rebuild in your life, wherever you tear yourself down.  I will not partner against his work any longer.

You and I walk with a breastplate of Christ’s righteousness on that doesn’t let any accusing arrows through.  Not one.  There is no hole in his righteousness, no gap, no interruption, or weakness.  His righteousness is a perfect FREE GIFT that I have experienced more now than ever before.  Do not make room for any thoughts about yourself that get you to like yourself even one percent less.  They are not from Him.