There’s nothing as good as repentance. At least that’s what it feels like right now. For some time I have a singular item that is perfectly innocent from an outsiders perspective but has been a point of contention between the Lord and I for some time. It’s like I had been going back and forth, back and forth, for years about this objectively small issue of the heart. God’s way, my way, God’s way, my way, my way, my way, my way. Although the item was minute, it was creating a distance between me and God that was not. Don’t get me wrong I mentally know and knew everything I used to about God’s goodness, but it seemed the feeling of those truths was growing duller. I objectively started placing this particular item beside me while I had conversations with God. I’m not hiding anything. God knows everything but I decided I became fine with my way not being God’s way. I could see all of this happening of course, but it was just a little item, it was alright for everyone else, but I didn’t want to chose God’s way. I wanted my way. But it wasn’t fine. I could feel the hard heartedness settling in, the behavior compliance for appeasement in other areas, managing my performance for approval and acceptance despite this one thing I was holding onto of course. Well, the push comes to shove and it now is having negative consequences and side effects that are quicker, more immediate, less avoidable. Then my self management of my own poor choices kicks into even higher gear and I move other things around just to continue to accommodate ‘my preference’. It finally gets to a point of my own repeated choosing that the consequences begin to scare me. It is then in my fear, I ask for prayer. Not for my behavior or its consequences, but of my hard heartedness before the Lord. I was exhausted of myself rejecting him, especially knowing who he is, what he’s done for me, and how wretched my selfishness really is. I kept trying to climb out of a hole with the Lord I had dug myself into day after day. From the perspective of the bottom of this whole it was harder to see his face. I could remember it but I wasn’t feeling it. I could see him loving me but I wasn’t feeling it. The lack of his seeming nearness, mostly because of my botched conscious before the Lord became suffocating to exist within and because of that spiritual exfixiation I had to do anything possible to free myself from this rut. And then in an answer to someone else’s prayer for me, God allowed me to see his kindness. I saw that everything he was inviting me into was for my good. Everything he was inviting me out of was for my good. Everything I was resisting was actually literally harming me and the desires of my heart and impeding my answers to prayer. He wasn’t wanting to take anything away from me, but actually give me something in that things absence. He has better gifts for me. Not only better eternal things but a better life here and now. He was for me, no longer the rule enforcing, critiquing, petty, official my flesh wanted me to believe he had become. He was my creator who knows me better than anyone knows me. Better than I know myself. He sees all the variables–including my desires–and still promises to show me a better way, the best way for me. We don’t know the value we lose for things we don’t yield to him about, not only do we disobey what we hear but we sometimes intentionally turn our ears of to not even hear the thing we already do not want to obey. It is God’s grace and kindness that we can see clearly his motives in his intentions towards us. Motives to withhold no good thing. Motives to give us a long life full of peace and rest in him alone. His motive is for our joy, our happiness, our pleasure, and his glory. He is graciously stubborn in refusing to compromise regarding the compromises of our hearts. He is a stickler for our closeness to him, the best and safest place for us in the world to be. I had to fight all the thorns of lies that kept pushing me backwards–allowed by my own repeated choices–from this embrace in his arms. I had to fight against my own complacency to find my way back there into the strong loving embrace of my father. To be at rest again in his will, finally allowing myself to receive his affection again, hiding nothing, surrendering everything–well for now, at least this. I am so thankful for repentance. I can’t earn God’s approval or nearness through behavioral maneuvering and or my own position jockeying, because alone he care for the posture of my heart, not the external behaviors he is leading us out of. And so I follow him and hopefully glorify his holy name.
Tag: Truth
Happy Freedom Day
I do not want to be a nice, socially acceptable, liked Christian. The basic beliefs of Christianity are offensive to every spirit and force that opposed Jesus Christ as Lord of the earth. I think I am tired of any fear of man that entertains the idea that a good Christian is a reasonably tolerable human being who never holds controversial convictions. Someone I spoke with recently said they are done being silent. I like this idea too for myself, but from the perspective that Christianity is not a normal and common lifestyle that looks no different from the adjacent unbeliever. I don’t want to blend in, and so in basic Christianity 101, I am addressing a topic that maybe is seen as fringe by the general public but I assure you it’s the power of God – deliverance.
Most people when they think of deliverance think of a kooky stage performer who is possibly styled weird with a mad grab for attention and probably involves theatrics, but in its origin, deliverance was Jesus loving people by delivering them from the suffering they so desperately felt powerless to escape from. Nowadays the general public suffers from the same afflictions but we have fancy words for them, scientific explanations, and societal modifications for their integration. Some people’s identity gravitates around that which afflicts them, sometimes adopted as a form of bragging rights for attention, sometimes people suffer silently alone without telling a soul what they feel or experience in their bodies, minds, or souls that they can’t seem to get free from.
These tendencies of affliction that are scattered among us affect the destinies of lives. More first responders last year took their own lives than died in the line of duty. Wives are abandoned, abused, or smothered. Marriages disintegrate, and criminals commit offenses against other humans. These are all symptoms of thoughts and diseases of the bodies and souls of men and women. Jesus does not give false hope.
When Jesus says the truth shall set you free, he does not mean in a fanciful Zen way that simply restructures how we look at a current affliction. He does not mean that re-posturing our heart and perspective is the solution he’s offering as we continue to suffer. I believe in the power of God. I believe in the authority of Jesus Christ here on earth. I believe that demons exist, are among us, and are influencing our world and daily lives. And I believe that God’s kingdom has dominion over them here and now. This nuance of hierarchy reveals not only the existence of God and his dominion but of his love.
Understand that God is not using his power, his authority, his position of divine leadership to cause suffering. He is not using his authority to oppress, to bind, to rob, and to steal. It’s unfathomable. He is good. And he is using his authority for our best. The cool part is he’s not only ruling from a position of love, but he’s given that authority to us. To me and you. Here and now. To also RULE in this world. This in no way means dominate, control, or manipulate for selfish purposes, but this means to rule in love, and relief, and service, and aid, and …deliverance, freedom, and release from chains.
So getting on to it. The basics of deliverance are that 1) if you have unforgiveness you are imprisoning yourself in suffering so you have to get rid of that NOW. Forgive. It’s the only door Jesus gives us and if you don’t want to, he says he’s going to use your standard for others on yourself. It’s your choice. 2) Our behaviors, words, experiences, thoughts, and choices can invite, welcome, or create agreements with demonic forces. Does this always look evil? No. Fear, worry, anxiety, doubt, unbelief, discouragement, guilt, shame, insecurity can all look 100% normal, socially acceptable, and perfectly reasonable. Even some crimes and relational redefinition are not only acceptable but are celebrated. Are demonic powers being exalted here? Yes, just because something is chosen by an individual doesn’t make it good, or redefine what kingdom it originates from.
Moving on, let’s go to Luke 11. Starting at verse 14, some editor for the bible translation I’m using named this section Jesus and the Prince of Demons. Let me lay it out here for people who don’t have their bible on hand then we’ll continue. Lots of red words in this section, for those of you who don’t know, red words in a bible indicate Jesus talking, as in, pay attention. I can only do color by block here so please ignore the red tag lines that indicate who’s speaking.
Jesus and the Prince of Demons
14 One day Jesus cast out a demon from a man who couldn’t speak, and when the demon was gone, the man began to speak. The crowds were amazed, 15 but some of them said, “No wonder he can cast out demons. He gets his power from Satan, the prince of demons.” 16 Others, trying to test Jesus, demanded that he show them a miraculous sign from heaven to prove his authority.
17 He knew their thoughts, so he said, “Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A family splintered by feuding will fall apart. 18 You say I am empowered by Satan. But if Satan is divided and fighting against himself, how can his kingdom survive? 19 And if I am empowered by Satan, what about your own exorcists? They cast out demons, too, so they will condemn you for what you have said. 20 But if I am casting out demons by the power of God, then the Kingdom of God has arrived among you. 21 For when a strong man is fully armed and guards his palace, his possessions are safe— 22 until someone even stronger attacks and overpowers him, strips him of his weapons, and carries off his belongings.
23 “Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me.
24 “When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, searching for rest. But when it finds none, it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ 25 So it returns and finds that its former home is all swept and in order. 26 Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before.”
27 As he was speaking, a woman in the crowd called out, “God bless your mother—the womb from which you came, and the breasts that nursed you!”
28 Jesus replied, “But even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”
Basic worldview understandings implied here: demons exist. They are spirits. They enter humans. They inhabit humans and dwell within them. Demons can be cast out. God exists. Satan exists. They both have kingdoms. Their kingdoms have organization and measures of power. Humans have value that is fought over and are resting places for spirits (made to be a resting place for God’s spirit).
God’s kingdom, (now where all authority has been given to Jesus – who also a HUMAN) holds no contest against demonic influence on other fellow humans. Jesus just shows up and demons have to flee. Just like light and darkness. You turn on the light switch and light and darkness don’t actually fight for the room. Once light–an actual substance of particles and waves–arrives, darkness no longer remains.
Jesus said it is better that he leave after he was resurrected and he ascended into heaven BECAUSE he was sending the HOLY spirit. Another spirit – not a demon – but the spirit of God, that is also meant and designed to rest within us. And live through us. And influence our thoughts, our hearts, our behaviors, all in intimate fellowship, divine exchange, and union with God. This spirit, who is love, who is peace, who is joy, is the spirit we want to influence our lives by CHOICE, not other spirits who want to hurt us, to steal from us, and want our death. God’s spirit is our life.
Earlier in this writing piece, I left off at step number two in basic deliverance. Here’s three 3) renouncing our agreement with these demonic influences on our lives. You don’t want them there? Then use the voice and authority God has given you and say out loud and mean that you renounce your agreement with them. Want some ideas of things that may be influencing your life for starters that generally aren’t fun to deal with or have around in life?
Fear of man, cowardice, timidity, insecurity, abandonment, restlessness, affliction, sickness, torment, disease, agitation, confusion, doubt, double-mindedness, guilt, shame, self-hatred, addiction, idolatry, witchcraft, cursing, vulgarity, lewdness, licentiousness, rejection, defensiveness, self-protection, unworthiness, worthlessness, suicide, death, religious spirits, betrayal, recklessness, covetousness, lying, gossip, slander, adultery, promiscuity, waywardness, vulgarity, bitterness, discouragement, hopelessness, stinginess, fear of lack, foreboding, terror, torment, injury, spiritual attacks, word curses, foul spirits, unclean spirits, mis-sexuality, distraction, wantonness, insomnia, rage, anger, hatred, violence, and more!
Don’t want these things around influencing your mind, your day, your life? Then renounce them and your agreement with them for starters. 4) Then tell them to leave you. Leave your body. Leave your home. Leave your family. Leave your life. Now. In Jesus’ name.
Jesus has authority, and Jesus’ name has power. Call me crazy, go ahead. It’s true. This is true. This is the difference between people standing around and having a conversation about ideas versus experiencing a solution. Am I saying this will fix everything? Maybe. God has faith in your purpose, in your value, in your worth, in your instrinsic valuableness. You really do. And God wants you to experience life in its fullness. Life as he intended. Remember who you are. Remember what God has spoken over your life. Remember your authority. You are not a victim here. Christ reigns through you. Have faith in him, in Jesus’ cross and resurrection power over even death.
What replaces all these negative things that leave? What happens when we turn to Christ exercising the authority he has shown us and taught us and sent us out to do unto others? Peace, rest, stillness, calm, settling, freedom, hope, joy, love, generosity, soundness of mind, clarity of thought, inspiration, creativity, insight, wisdom, truth, feeling comfortable in our own bodies and our own homes, loveliness, gentleness, patience, goodness, thoughtfulness, consideration, faithfulness, strength, healing, listening, openness, ease of laughter, light heartedness, obedience, worship, righteousness, well-being, desire to do good, revelation, presence of God, divine truth, light.
Invite these things into your life, your heart, your mind, your spirit. TRUST GOD. Enough with running around in your spirit already. Refuse that restlessness and resign yourself to God’s sovereignty and care over your life. Refuse to NOT trust him anymore. Stop trying to manage your life independent of your ABSOLUTE dependence on God. Let him take care of you. Let him provide for you. Trust his timing. Trust what he’s already told you. Listen to him. Listen to him again. Spend time with him. Enjoy being alive already. Have fun. Enjoy other people. It’s time to stop being a victim and become a child of God again.
Christ’s authority doesn’t fade, doesn’t diminish, and doesn’t go away.
Happy Freedom Day
Remembering Jesus
Sometimes, despite hearing bible verses about fixing our gaze on Jesus or thinking about heavenly things, our minds can still get so wrapped up in doing good and being responsible. We can prioritize our to-do list and things to take care of. Not only that, we see and observe our shortcomings relationally or in character. And then, in God’s mercy, when we stop for a moment, a mere minute. He reminds us of himself. “Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given. As a result, all who believe in him are made right with God.” Romans 10:4
So often, my mind fills with the ways I have not achieved, accomplished, or lived out that which God has called me to. I find it feels like, on a daily basis, that I am stagnant and have controlled my environment enough for peace and a measure of predictability, and yet he doesn’t feel near. And so, when I thirst for consolation for life in the spiritual sense again, I am reminded of something that Christ accomplished that I never will be able to achieve of my own effort or stubborn persistence, being made right with God.
Even if I was disciplined in every area of my life, I would bear much fruit and with that, much reward, but I would not earn his affection. I would not achieve reconciliation. Despite this, it is not a reason not to become more disciplined, to learn, to grow, to listen, and to seek. I just have to make my peace that God has already given me the cup of salvation, complete and whole, from the work he accomplished through his suffering. I then remember Jesus in the equation of my own self-evaluation.
My acceptance has already been paid for. Christ’s suffering was not incomplete. God is not looking for me to become my own savior. Striving cannot achieve righteousness; that’s not how Heaven has designed our relationship with Himself. I am still on milk, infant and young. I cannot get over the constant wave of his good news crashing repeatedly on the shore of everything my independence tries to resist, preserve, and build.
And yet, without me asking, without me yielding and surrendering, not letting myself off the hook, he comes to me in kindness. He approaches me with dignity, respect, honor, and truth. He reminds me again and again of what my spirit and brain seem to forget so quickly, like trying to hold sand or water in my hand, that he is good. He is for me. He enjoys me. He likes me. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to enjoy my life. To be whole. To be known and celebrated.
I have value. I have gifts. I am a blessing. I have been adopted into his family. I have a home, and I belong in Him. For some reason, I always feel like I choose to remain standing on the threshold of the entryway. I’ve been invited into the party of heaven. I can see it happening; I know I am welcome, but rather than participate, I linger at the door. I would rather be nowhere else outside this place, but I have not yet allowed myself to stay seated and remain comfortable in his love for me. I cannot tell you why. I’m just hoping that when the door to this party shuts I am on the right side. Just accepting the access I’ve been granted is my minimum standard. That heaven will tolerate my presence because of his sacrifice, but I didn’t do much with that costly gift, and surely the measure I poured back was disappointing.
I remember the Lord asking me one day while I was getting ready in my bathroom. Why do you not think I will celebrate you? When your life is over, and you’re in my presence, why do you not think I will see the good that happened as a result of your life and celebrate all the love that was? I could not give him an answer. Even now, I anticipate and fear his reproach. I know these themes are not true. But perhaps I still feel like I need my own protection to beat him or anyone else to the punch.
I know I am safe with him. He is the safest place for me to exist in. He created me and knows everything about me. Not only the whats but the whys. The whys I can’t seem to figure out. My connection with him is something I know lives, but in confession, I don’t do much to foster its growth. I did, once. I complain more than I want to, and my heart is colder than I would like. I care less than I should, and I remember being more fun. I know the narrative of ‘this is just what getting older is like’ is a lie every time I encounter a 40 or 50-year-old with the twinkle of heaven’s joy in their eye. My perspective is my choice.
I shared this post to remind you of what God reminds me. I have a savior. He is good at his job. His promises to me are still real and still stand. I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior despite my failures and shortcomings. I love him, and I think he has asked me to write. These words may not be as chipper as they were ten years ago, but he is just as worthy, and I am still loved as much as I was then. I am still chosen. God is still hopeful. I am still his. He is still mine. And this is me at this time.
To leave you with his words and not my own, Romans 6:11 says, “And since grace is through God’s kindness, then it is not by their good works. For in that case, God’s grace would not be what it really is—free and undeserved.”
Heaven is a Person
Heaven is a Person and Hell is a Perspective. Heaven, being thought of as a place in all of its splendor and beauty, means nothing without Jesus being there. We could have all these eternal spiritual good things but without the presence of God they all would be meaningless. When Jesus primarily teaches about the kingdom of heaven being near while he was here on earth, that topic is primarily highlighting the KING of that kingdom but in a humble manner. This king who IS peace, love, joy, freedom, etc, is freely accessible to you as you dwell inside of his authority and leadership. The only place I want to live eternally is as close to Jesus as possible. I don’t care where this, what this place looks like, what I have, what others have, who is there, as long as I am as close as possible to his heart and his face. Nothing else matters being he is my heaven. He is my only refuge, my only hope, my only strength. He can determine anything about my reality because it belongs to him, he created it and its for his glory.
The worst part of existence in this lifetime, although I realize is for my good and for my growth (to learn to rule and reign as he does), is when my perspective lies to me and communicates anything other than heaven being here with me now. I am accepted right now, I am saved right now, I am God’s eternal dwelling place right now, I am in union with Christ right now. Just because I lose sight of those truths doesn’t change this reality, my lack of ability to see these truths affects whether or not I experience these realities from the inside out. The bible teaches the kingdom of heaven is righteousness, peace, and joy. These become our experience in this life as a result of submitting to Jesus’ rule on a daily basis; our faith and surrender allow us to participate in this eternal goodness while on earth. The work of the devil, as outlined in Jesus’ teaching to steal, kill, and destroy. My conjecture from this lesson, is that the devil’s aim is to interrupt our experience and participation of God’s kingdom while we are here on earth, and he does that first by interrupting our perspective, which, in turn, interrupts our experience, by resulting in changed behaviors.
The devil wants to sow the opposite of God’s kingdom into your experience. The opposites of righteousness, peace, and joy are sin, anxiety, and depression. Do you see the fruit of any of those perspectives in our society around us or in your own life? If that is the case you may be a victim of spiritual theft, death, and destruction. This is because you are a unique creation of God’s beauty and expression, full of life, love and divine purpose. You are powerful and Christ loves to live with you, through you. You are a gift to this earth and a bright shining star. Have you forgotten this, or been reminded about this yet today?
Heaven is available to you to experience today, because Jesus is available to you, to be with you, near to you, close, in relationship today. May your perspective actively stand against every thought which opposes what Christ has purchased for you with his blood that he died to return you to as a gift, freely given. Return to through rest and faith in your living savior to the power of heaven and the purpose of God in your life right now because Jesus displayed his ultimate love for you by dying for you on a cross, and chose to give up his life so you could fully live yours. Happy Easter.
happyreign 