wholeness – happyreign

So I want to share with you a journey I have had in the lasts few years. It began in a bad place. It really didn’t have to be that bad but there was one move I made that I will not make again.

People make mistakes. Maybe you never have. Maybe you have never made the wrong decision or never said something hurtful to anyone or said anything negative behind someone’s back. Maybe.

It all began when I made a series of mistakes. I concluded something and it was the wrong conclusion, which led to the wrong behaviors. I can’t change that and I’m okay with that now. But that’s not my point in this article, what I did that I will never do again, is turn my back on myself.

I have become very familiar with these thoughts inside our heads that will replay mistakes, or wrong words, or wrong conclusions. At first I believed them because I thought they were true. For example, I was wrong, therefore I should like myself less. This equation is not true in heaven.

I was wrong! And it really affected people. And I still have permission to love myself today! I thought I was worth being thought less of. In a way, I was punishing myself because I thought that’s what I deserved. I questioned myself and doubted my partnership with God. BUT did you know there are no mistakes in heaven?!?!

Did you know that maybe I was setup to experience this whole in my character so that God could build a new thing there?? Learning requires humility to not know something to begin with. All of these things are okay and never have to involve the self-destruction of shame, guilt, condemnation, or exclusion.

Did you know God still loves you and values you? He never thinks less of you based on this learning journey you are on?? Did you know he speaks of your value, your worth, and your ability to always brush yourself of and dive right back into life. SO….

In conclusion, you may be having other thoughts. Even small incremental thoughts that get you to like yourself just a little bit less, maybe even one percent. I don’t believe these thoughts anymore. None of them. For any conversation, presentation, appearance or decision. Not one percent less. They are not from heaven, and God will rebuild in your life, wherever you tear yourself down. I will not partner against his work any longer.

You and I walk with a breastplate of Christ’s righteousness on that doesn’t let any accusing arrows through. Not one. There is no hole in his righteousness, no gap, no interruption, or weakness. His righteousness is a perfect FREE GIFT that I have experienced more now than ever before. Do not make room for any thoughts about yourself that get you to like yourself even one percent less. They are not from Him.

Self-love is necessary to the Joy-in-full as given to us in Jesus. When we realize how we are forgiven by him and we choose to then forgive ourselves of every shortcoming and mistake we perceive we walk in or we’ve made, we begin to have permission to love ourselves again which ushers in inner peace. Many fears are actually a fear of punishment by God for our transgressions, now or later. That there is a God who is mad and will inflict suffering upon us for our lack of obedience or performance consistency. We then, in turn, hold ourselves to inner standards that we perceive God does. I shouldn’t have done x, y, and z. I should be doing this. I should be less like…myself. And there lies the endless cycle of I’m not good enough as I am.

Christ has come not to change you so he can start to like you, but in fact, reveal to you your value and worth that you yourself cannot destroy, damage, or take away. God’s kingdom–he–continually speaks dignity, self-worth, value, and significance in who you are, apart from the decisions you’ve made. You cannot undo your likeness of him. You are God’s child and he is your father that loves you and is proud of you. He laughs at my mistakes more than I give myself permission to and he understands our thoughts and motives at this point in our journey more than we understand ourselves. God gives me far more grace than I give myself and he is challenging me, growing me in consistently loving myself well, despite my perceived shortcomings.

He speaks this way. “Remember the verse about forgiving other people 70 x 7? That refers to my way, my nature.” That he operates like that with us. “Well I want you to forgive yourself the same way. 70 x 7. Without limit, without measure. Forgive yourself, rather than accuse yourself. Let things go and operate within my love that covers and forgives. Lean into grace.”

He continues with, “Remember that verse about nothing in heaven or earth can separate you from my love? No angels, no demons, no trial, no suffering?” “Well I want the love you carry for yourself to be just as indestructible as my love is for you. That is never waiver or falter. You have my permission to give yourself approval at all times, rather than disapproval.”

God’s spirit will always guide us into taking care of ourselves, insides and out because he is your creator and has given you this gift of life and he knows its value and how much it is a journey of experience with him that is a gift. Anything that cuts down, or discourages your personality, your expression, your gifts, your life, your freedom are quite possibly not from your father who delights in you as you.

Mission minded people sometimes think: I will serve God by loving other people. But we can only really love people to the capacity we have received God’s love for ourselves. You count just as much in God’s aim of love upon this earth amongst all of humanity. That God’s kingdom of peace and joy and love endure and reign within our own hearts. Permission to love ourselves fully and completely again through the eyes of Christ, this is what I call self-love, agreeing with God that he says we are lovely.

Some believers are quick to expect God’s rebuke but they never hear God’s romance. We don’t allow ourselves to hear it, because we don’t believe it’s true or because we don’t believe we deserve it. That’s a lie. God is in love with you and he wants you to give you permission to love yourself again too.