I think about writing as often as I have a thought most times. My reason for coming back here is my decision to reopen the flow. I think the idol that has kept me from transparency is the threat, “What will they think of me?” In 2026 this thought has to die. It is an immobilizer and usurper of life.

The most common my fear of perception I carry is ‘hypocrite’. That my words and my inspiration are invalidated by my life. That what is written here – in the wide open fields of processing time – would be determined by those who know me in real life as not true to how I live. In this way, I have bowed to the idea that you are fit to be my judge. Since Jesus recently fired me from being my own judge – he’s says I am not qualified – I guess I am no longer comfortable giving the imagined version of you the ability to determine my hypocrisy and am just getting on to enjoy my writing again.

I am writing not for people to see me, but for people to see Jesus. And, if I allow myself the vulnerability of writing here, I somehow return the enjoyment of my union with him expressing himself this way through me as I spend time on this activity. I have decided to reopen this flow in the delight of intimacy and fellowship with himself. You are free to come along for the ride or abandon this one of 1.4 billion locations on the internet in choice of perhaps a real activity offline, like knitting.

I have enjoyed a morning of contemplating abandoning any false projections of self propped up as mechanisms rooted in external behavior performances or modifications in order to meet some imagined criteria that could determine my value. This has been accompanied by a delightful invitation to return to a less self-focused, authentic, default posture of acceptance by God as the creator of that original self; who is also it’s rescuer, redeemer, and ultimately friend. Remembering the value of my authentic human experience, as it is, regardless of others perception of it or their designated, or withheld, value toward that original self. One step even further is disempowering the enemy’s ability to craft any imagined variation of said responses or opinions. This is a house of smoke and mirrors that interrupts and hinders our responsiveness shared life with Holy Spirit.

And because pretty much everything I write or want to write ends up being the gospel summarized in some unique facet I am seeing anew, today is authority to cancel lies from the evil one comes from Psalm 85:1 which says “Lord you poured out blessings on your land! You restored the fortunes of Israel. You forgave the guilt of your people–yes you covered all their sins.”

Do you have joy-sucking senses of your pharasee-ical religious performance failures keeping you from the love of God? This is a refreshing reminder that He is the one that crossed the great divide sin created to reunite with you as you are. He is not waiting for you to clean up your efforts and ‘get better’ before he will tolerate and grant his fickle approval once again. He is not impressed, or withholding love, with baited breathe for your achievements, your accomplishments, your good works, or your discipline. These do not – and will never – qualify you for his love.

Are you done chasing something that was freely given you? Are you done beating yourself up from something that has already been crucified? Do not wait to enjoy fellowship with God again now, who’s love does not look like our own. Do you withhold yourself from enjoyment by Him because you believe you are not worthy of his pleasure?

He has forgiven your sin. He has cast it to the sea. Have you? You are not meant to bear the weight of what he already sacrificed on the cross. He has entirely dis-enthroned all separation from himself. All we need to do is turn from our sin – to him. Earning acceptance will never be an effort you can accomplish through applying rules to your life. God has already postured himself in every way possible for fellowship with you. In the story of the prodigal son, he is the father postured on the front porch just WAITING to RUN to you with extravagant affection, embrace, and blessing. God restores – not critiques, he celebrates – not condemns, he refines down to removing every barrier that hinders closeness, embrace, affection, and a sense of being at home, safe in his love.

At the thought that no one reads this long anymore. I will stop here. Until next time at my delight, sincerely…me.