Freed From ISIS, Not the Torment

Specifically inviting the ladies, please join me in praying for these women who are beginning a deep and long road ahead of them to get their lives back. After being freed from ISIS they’re retreating into an almost unconscious-like state. I send them my love and hope.

The below article is from the NEW YORK TIMES in full.

Freed From ISIS, Yazidi Women Return in ‘Severe Shock’

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In tents in northern Iraq, a grim scene of barely conscious women and girls hints at the cost of three years of sexual enslavement.  Souhayla, a 16-year-old girl who escaped the Islamic State after three years of captivity, at her uncle’s home in Shariya Camp, Iraq.
Credit Alex Potter for The New York Times

SHARIYA CAMP, Iraq — The 16-year-old lies on her side on a mattress on the floor, unable to hold up her head. Her uncle props her up to drink water, but she can barely swallow. Her voice is so weak, he places his ear directly over her mouth to hear her.

The girl, Souhayla, walked out of the most destroyed section of Mosul this month, freed after three years of captivity and serial rape when her Islamic State captor was killed in an airstrike. Her uncle described her condition as “shock.” He had invited reporters to Souhayla’s bedside so they could document what the terror group’s system of sexual abuse had done to his niece.

“This is what they have done to our people,” said Khalid Taalo, her uncle.

Since the operation to take back Mosul began last year, approximately 180 women, girls and children from the Yazidi ethnic minority who were captured in 2014 by the Islamic State, or ISIS, have been liberated, according to Iraq’s Bureau for the Rescue of Abductees.

Women rescued in the first two years after ISIS overran their ancestral homeland came home with infections, broken limbs and suicidal thoughts. But now, after three years of captivity, women like Souhayla and two others seen last week by reporters, are far more damaged, displaying extraordinary signs of psychological injury.

“Very tired,” “unconscious” and “in severe shock and psychological upset” were the descriptions used by Dr. Nagham Nawzat Hasan, a Yazidi gynecologist who has treated over 1,000 of the rape victims.

“We thought the first cases were difficult,” Dr. Hasan said. “But those after the liberation of Mosul, they are very difficult.”

The shock expresses itself in women and girls who sleep for days on end, seemingly unable to wake up, said Hussein Qaidi, the director of the abductee rescue bureau. “Ninety percent of the women coming out are like this,” he said, for at least part of the time after their return.

Both Souhayla and her family asked that she be identified as well as photographed, in an effort to shed light on their community’s suffering. Her uncle posted her image on Facebook immediately after her release with a description of what ISIS had done to her.

For over a year, Mr. Taalo said, he had known his niece’s location, as well as the name of the Islamic State fighter holding her. He enlisted the help of a smuggler who at great risk photographed Souhayla through the window of the house where she was being held and sent the images to her family.

But it was too perilous to try a rescue.

Souhayla escaped on July 9, two days after an airstrike collapsed a wall in the building where she was being held, burying another Yazidi girl who had been held alongside her and killing the captor who had abused them, her uncle said.

At that point, she was strong enough to clamber through the rubble and make her way to the first Iraqi checkpoint.

When her family drove to pick her up, she ran to embrace them.

“I ran to her and she ran to me and we started crying and then we started laughing as well,” said Mr. Taalo, the brother of Souhayla’s father, who remains missing after the Islamic State took over their hometown. “We stayed like that holding each other, and we kept crying and laughing, until we fell to the ground.”

But within hours, she stopped speaking, he said.

By the time they reached the camp where her mother and extended family had found refuge after the Islamic State overran their village, Souhayla slipped into what appeared to be unconsciousness. The doctors who examined her have prescribed antibiotics for a urinary tract infection.

She also shows signs of malnutrition.

Neither explain her extreme symptoms, said her family and one of the doctors who examined her.

“I’m happy to be home,” she whispered with difficulty into her uncle’s ear, in response to a reporter’s question, “but I’m sick.”

The Islamic State had been ruling Mosul for two months in 2014 when the group’s leaders set their sights on Sinjar, a 60-mile-long, yellow massif to the north. Its foothills and mountain villages have long been the bedrock of life for the Yazidi, a tiny minority who account for less than 2 percent of Iraq’s population of 38 million.

The centuries-old religion of the Yazidi revolves around worship of a single God, who in turn created seven sacred angels. These beliefs led the Islamic State to label the Yazidi as polytheists, a perilous category in the terrorist group’s nomenclature.

Relying on a little-known and mostly defunct corpus of Islamic law, the Islamic State argued that the minority’s religious standing rendered them eligible for enslavement.

On Aug. 3, 2014, convoys of fighters sped up the escarpment, fanning out across the adjoining valleys. Among the first towns they passed on their way up the mountain was Til Qasab, with its low-slung concrete buildings surrounded by plains of blond grass.
That’s where Souhayla, then 13, lived.

A total of 6,470 Yazidis on the mountain were abducted, according to Iraqi officials, including Souhayla. Three years later, 3,410 remain in captivity or unaccounted for, Mr. Qaidi of the abductee rescue bureau said.

For the first two years of her captivity, Souhayla made her way through the Islamic State’s system of sexual slavery, raped by a total of seven men, she and her uncle said.
When the push for Mosul began, she was moved progressively deeper into the area hardest hit by the conflict, as security forces squeezed the terrorist group into a sliver of land near the Tigris River. The area was pummeled by artillery, airstrikes and car bombs, and strafed by helicopter-gunship fire.

As the Islamic State began losing its grip on the city, Souhayla’s captor cut her hair short, like a boy’s. She understood he was planning to try to slip past Iraqi security forces, disguised as a refugee, and take her with him, her uncle said.
24yazidi2-master675Souhayla eating dinner in her uncle’s tent, a white bandage covering an IV site and a scar from her effort to slit her wrist during her captivity.  Credit Alex Potter for The New York Times

Mr. Taalo now spends his days nursing his niece back to health. To sit up, she grasped one of the metal ribs holding up her family’s tent and pulled herself into a sitting position, as her uncle pushed from behind. But soon her strength was sapped, and she flopped back down.

He used a washcloth to dab her forehead, as she lay in his lap. Her mouth fell open and her eyes rolled back.

After her escape, almost two weeks passed before she was able to stand for more than a few minutes, her legs unsteady.

Officials say recent escapees are also showing an unusual degree of indoctrination.
Two Yazidi sisters, ages 20 and 26, arrived at the Hamam Ali 1 refugee camp, where they drew the attention of camp officials because they wore face-covering niqabs and refused to take them off, despite the fact that Yazidi women do not cover their faces.

They described the Islamic State fighters who raped them as their “husbands” and as “martyrs,” said Muntajab Ibraheem, a camp official and director of the Iraqi Salvation Humanitarian Organization.

In their arms were the three toddlers they had given birth to in captivity, the children of their rapists. But they refused to nurse them, said the smuggler sent by their family to fetch them.

He and camp officials filled out paperwork so that the children could be given to the state, he said.

A video recorded on the smuggler’s phone shows what happened when the sisters saw their family for the first time after their return. Their relatives rushed to embrace the gaunt women. They cried.

Their mother, distraught, stepped behind the tent, trying to steady herself.
A day after the video was taken, reporters went to see the women, and they could no longer stand. They lay on mattresses inside the plastic walls of their tent.

Despite the loud voices around them and the flow of visitors, despite their mother’s wail, they did not budge.

Cars pulled up outside, bringing relatives carrying pallets of orange soda. They left the tent, hands over their mouths, trying to hold back sobs.

Family members said that except for a few brief moments, the women have not awakened since then, over a week ago.

A version of this article appears in print on July 27, 2017, on Page A1 of the New York edition with the headline: Freed From ISIS, Not the Torment. 

Judgement

I have been thinking about writing this one for a week or so but haven’t been getting around to it.  It’s not a topic I feel qualified to write about but I want to share my journey in relation to the topic.

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Judgement Day

At one time in my life when I was steeped very much within an extremely religious culture there were a lot of very good things and a lot of bad things that were unnecessary.  Judgement was one of these topics.  ‘God is your judge.’ ‘You will be judged.’ ‘He will judge the thoughts and intents of your heart well beyond your outward physical actions.’ ‘Your place in heaven for all eternity will be based off your ability to obey (successful religious performance, absence from things that appear ‘worldly’). ‘You (and most people) will experience the weeping and gnashing of your teeth because of all you have wasted in this life by not living 100% obeying holy spirit all the time.’ ‘If you relax, you are being lazy spiritually and will be pruned like a dead branch only good for burning.’ ‘Why aren’t you healing people miraculously.  Jesus died to give us that.  You should be. You’re not living up to your calling.  You will regret that in eternity. God would show how much your close to him by signs and wonders.  If you aren’t seeing that, you’re failing.’

I got a little off topic toward the end of this list, veering into believers of God walking in the ability to perform miracles but for me, it all stems back down to the point where you will stand face to face with God and what we believe this interaction and accountability will be like for our lives.  There was a point where I carried great fear of this pending day.  It was a real fear and it stifled joy.  There are some who believe this is wisdom and good for living.  That it is appropriate and should be taught.  For them, they believe that the cause for fear is real.

I still had images of passing through fire, where everything that isn’t eternal gets burned up, and there unfortunately, because I know me, very little, if anything, remains.  And of course, because I know me, I would get stuck on some distant dark shore of heaven only being able to see the light of Jesus on the horizon.  Finally taking the place I deserve, I made it in, but barely.  For eternity.

It’s so sad.  I think many religious people carry thoughts like this around in the back of their heads but wouldn’t necessarily articulate them or even recognize them as they pass through their mind.  I think this one sole issue of our imagination of God’s judgement of us sometimes is the single motivator towards religious works.  Fear keeps the hamster wheel spinning.

What Can Save Us from God?

Wheeeww.  It’s getting pretty heavy in here, even as I write this!  I really do believe the news of heaven is good news, not bad news that should be good news if we get this life right.  I really do think that the things that make our heart leap and dance and get excited are whispers of the heaven that is home inside us.  God really is nicer than the nicest person you’ve ever met, and kinder than the kindest.  He is gentler than the gentlest, and more understanding than the person that’s understood you most.  Humans across the board only stand on one ground, the ground of forgiveness, there are no religious superstars that skipped that step on the way to their ‘best-buds’ seat in heaven.  God sees us all as his children.  He dreamed of each one of us.  He created us.  He knew us before we were even born.  Maybe we knew each other then too, 😉

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Fortunately God intervened and delivered me from lies about himself that I had interpreted from either scriptures or teachers, whether the intent to cause this reaction within me was there or not.

The Truth

God brought me back to relationship.  I had a relationship with him at the time.  I interacted with him in my heart and he with me as I lived my life.  He brought up the scenario in my head.  “Am I kind to you today and you think that one day many days from now, after you pass from this world, my character is going to change in my relationship to you and I’m going to point out all your flaws, weakness, mistakes, and failures.  And not only that, but you imagine that on that future day I will finally release this anger I have been holding towards you, because I finally am completely honest with you?  What kind of friendship is that?  Don’t the humans around you love you better than that?  Do they love you better than I do?  Then I will?

Now I believe God is so good I can’t wrap my brain around it.  Do you understand that goodness is most displayed in God’s seat of judgement?!?  When God is justified in punishment–there’s the word–punishment.  God The Punisher, the devil’s favorite lie.  Yes, God the father in heaven is waiting to… punish you?  Was Jesus waiting on the cross just hoping for the day he could punish the very people who were unjustly murdering him in torment?  What was his judgement of them?  Forgiveness.  Where can we escape God’s presence?  Not even in the depths of hades.  Love will be there.  In God’s role as judge he cannot turn off being the essence of love.  And I don’t mean a perverted form of love where he delights in seeing someone being tortured.  Even on earth no one would say that type of person is full of anything but the devil.

In some ways I see Jesus bearing ALL our sin, receiving ALL our punishment, taking ALL of the curse upon himself, undoing ALL that Adam did in the garden, as God’s introduction handshake with humanity.  Hello, this is who I am, this is what I possess within me to redeem your choices, this is how I feel about you, this is my character, this is my nature.  Hello, it’s okay, I made you and I’m here.  I’m not leaving, I’m not going anywhere.  Nothing separates us, you don’t have to hide here.  I love you.

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God Saved Us From Everything But His Judgement

Some people get really touching when you threaten their beliefs about judgement.  As if in the absence of the threat of future suffering, our new hearts and minds in Christ will grow depraved and corrupt.  This is not true my friends.  Welcome to the taste of true freedom outside fences of fear that have kept some from feeling the full effects of salvation.  Fear is sad when you see people hold onto it, as if it originated within love.

I could go on and on I feel but I will start to close here because who reads blogs that are even this long anyway??  I will leave you with this.  Love expressed itself in forgiveness.  Forgiveness really means forgiveness!  In true forgiveness, your old stuff isn’t brought up anymore.  ever.  It’s not held against you.  You don’t have a tallying punch card.  It’s not shoved in your face.  It’s not used as a tool for power or shaming you.  It’s forgotten.  Like it never happened.  Like you can really let it go.  Like you can learn from your experiences without holding on to ANY of the negative effects of sin on your relationship with God or your relationship with yourself.  Have faith in your forgiven-ness.  Experience the miracle of no longer punishing yourself or fearing future punishment from God.  God’s goodness is not bound by time or space, or the confines of your poor choices.  Your troubles are not to hard for him to love you through.  Poor choices ARE NOT FUN TO LIVE THROUGH.

The preaching of threats and fear may have intended to produce sinless living, in attempt to help out God in the advancement of his kingdom, but one thing it never produced was a greater love for his character, his person, his nature.  Is obedience based on threats true relationship?  He is altogether trustworthy with all of you.  All of your emotions, your thoughts, your relationships, in all of your past, all of your present, and especially–ALL of your future, including any day called “judgement day”.  I don’t think God was joking when he said ‘nothing can separate you from My love’–as if the only exception here is his own judgement of you?!

Experiencing Our Choices

Leaving you with my concluding topic, one thing I do expect to experience in heaven is the full comprehension of how my life affected those around me.  This includes my lack of care and consideration for others.  I don’t carry this as a weight or fear but just as a reality I will understand in the future.  I will understand how my judgment of others felt, how my negative words affected them, how my choice of myself over them felt, etc.  You get the idea.

previewThis reality is judgement enough.  Other people’s experiences are real and are valuable.  I will understand how my life affected the people I love around me and even the people I love less for some reason.  This truth motivates me to live with an awareness to let God live through me; he cares, he gives, he understands, he is patient.  It reminds me what’s important about being alive.  My choices matter.  Sometimes if there is something being said about someone else in a negative way, I can feel that person’s presence when they will hear what’s been said about them in future.  Like everything we say about others will one day be heard by them.

I can trust that even this future process of understanding and knowing more, is for my good!  I actually think living in community where communication is regular and intentional helps us grow in a similar way here on earth because we are forced to confront and experience the consequences of our own words and actions on a daily basis which naturally fosters the growth of our ability to love others and ourselves when done in an open, honest, and safe environment.

I esteem the life of God in others and to the best of my ability at the time, seek to enjoy their company and share in our freedom together.  When freedom is celebrated, it displays the love that lives inside of us.  When lies of our own false judgements of others takes root within us, love remains unexpressed, hidden in darkness.  Getting to love others is a delight and an opportunity, and is neither a burden nor a scorecard.  God is not burdened by his relationship with you.  There is Grace like an unending ocean in this classroom of life as we learn to grow in love.  (Which is not growing in my ability to hold grudges and punishing people for not obeying me and tormenting them.  Which is what we imagine God does in his relationship with them or us–one day.)

We will get to see God apart from the lies about him we hold in our hearts, and we will get to see one another apart from the lies we believe about each other.  AWESOME!

One more thought.  Some people think that the God I’m painting with words here is weak. What about the God of Anger, Wrath, Power, and Full Control?  A man who talks with his child instead of just using his fists is stronger.  A man who doesn’t lose his temper with his wife is stronger.  A man who forgives over holding grudges is stronger.  The greatest strength is displayed in Mercy.

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An ancient golden crown found in Afghanistan

A God that teaches us to love our enemies, really love them, is not pushing us to do something beyond his own capacity to love as he sits there and judges and wants to punish his enemies.  It’s not just a ministry strategy.  It really is what he’s like.  Those who do the same are like his family because he really does love his enemies!  He loves them.

Now I really am stopping there!  I haven’t solicited invitations for comments before but am tempted to do so now.  Share with me what your thoughts are below!

Character     Covenant     Creativity

Family     Freedom    Gift Giver

Joy    Judgement    Kindness    Trust

Love     Praise      Prayer     Self-love

 

 

A Couple New Paintings

I wanted to post some new paintings you may have missed!  Click on the painting to find out more about it!

City of Lights 18 x 24″

If you’re interested in purchasing the above one, info is available here in my Etsy store.

Experience 30 x 30″

And you can click below and read my update to find out where “My Innocence” will be ending up.

I’m trying to get in all the painting my little heart desires before flying out to Maine to meet up with my husband Joel on his last day of hiking the Appalachian Trail.  Hope you have a greet weekend!

 

Prayer

I’m not going to be talking about prayer in groups or at meetings.  Just you and invisible other party.  Welcome to the land of our imaginations.  This wonderful, mysterious, curious place within our minds that absolutely no one else can see.  Sometimes words are the form of communication that is seen or heard in our minds.  There are endless other ways we communicate internally, feelings, physical sensations, pictures, colors, actual scene sequences, actual memories, our skewed memories viewed through feelings, songs, sounds, melodies, listening, waiting, just being, imaginary future conversations or interactions, premonitions, out of body experiences, dreams, waking thoughts, and a plethora I’m sure I have no idea about or haven’t mentioned here.

prayer

All of the above listed experiences communicate something about ourselves and God, back and forth with one another, God experiencing everything our internal spirit experiences, with us.  Immanuel, God with us, not just here on earth, but inside our very selves.  Our spirit is one with God’s spirit.  Everything encompassed in this communion I would consider as “prayer,” others use the terms like meditation or spirituality.

God’s kingdom is gloriously unseen.  It’s not at a place that has GPS coordinates.  This is wonderful, because instead, it is everywhere.  No matter what dirty hole in the earth a person finds themselves in, there God is fully alive within them.  No matter about the people around us or circumstances, there, in all his fullness, is God’s beautiful self abiding in our hearts.  Sometimes we have a harder time remembering this or experiencing it when we get distracted with ourselves, our performance, our strivings, our failures, and we believe lies about ourselves or the God that lives inside of us.  But this never the less, makes all of the above no less true.  The fullness of God lives within you.  How awesome is that!

The first step in prayer is getting past our own religious performance involved with our interaction with God.  God’s kingdom I imagine is a lot more like a children’s outdoor jungle gym than a church service.  Modesty and restraint are not necessarily going to help us here.  I would say the beginning of prayer is basically being completely and 100% honest with this God that lives inside us and this also involves 100% honest with ourselves.  This concept sounds easier than it seems.  Our minds are filled with justifications and self-perceptions that sometimes aren’t true.  But no mind, moving forward.

Honesty with ourselves and God is just the foundation of relationship.  Prayer is simply relationship.  This does not exclude asking things and communicating needs, but involves so much more.  God watches movies with you, rides bikes with you, cooks dinner with you, rides in the car with you.  God lives with us!  I enjoy expressing my feelings and verbalizing my questions and frustrations with God.  When I intentionally chose to share life with him is often when I also get to enjoy his participation in mine.  God will communicate love to however you are open to receiving it.  He will tell you he loves you and he is with you daily.

SPIRITUALITY

Maybe you are more a picture person, or a word person, or feeling person, but when you engage with God in your imagination it may be unseen but it is possibly more real than any relationship you have living in these tents of flesh called bodies.  Engage with God and have fun with him.  He wants to set you free of your fears but he also wants to make you laugh.  He is a gentleman and will not force you to engage with him, but he is looking forward to every moment you do.  Love is the great mystery of our inner world with God, his kingdom of beauty and strength inside of us.  He loves to respond to all that you offer himself of you.

Character     Covenant     Creativity

Family     Freedom    Gift Giver

Joy    Judgement    Kindness    Trust

Love     Praise      Prayer     Self-love