healing – Page 2 – happyreign

Self-love is necessary to the Joy-in-full as given to us in Jesus. When we realize how we are forgiven by him and we choose to then forgive ourselves of every shortcoming and mistake we perceive we walk in or we’ve made, we begin to have permission to love ourselves again which ushers in inner peace. Many fears are actually a fear of punishment by God for our transgressions, now or later. That there is a God who is mad and will inflict suffering upon us for our lack of obedience or performance consistency. We then, in turn, hold ourselves to inner standards that we perceive God does. I shouldn’t have done x, y, and z. I should be doing this. I should be less like…myself. And there lies the endless cycle of I’m not good enough as I am.

Christ has come not to change you so he can start to like you, but in fact, reveal to you your value and worth that you yourself cannot destroy, damage, or take away. God’s kingdom–he–continually speaks dignity, self-worth, value, and significance in who you are, apart from the decisions you’ve made. You cannot undo your likeness of him. You are God’s child and he is your father that loves you and is proud of you. He laughs at my mistakes more than I give myself permission to and he understands our thoughts and motives at this point in our journey more than we understand ourselves. God gives me far more grace than I give myself and he is challenging me, growing me in consistently loving myself well, despite my perceived shortcomings.

He speaks this way. “Remember the verse about forgiving other people 70 x 7? That refers to my way, my nature.” That he operates like that with us. “Well I want you to forgive yourself the same way. 70 x 7. Without limit, without measure. Forgive yourself, rather than accuse yourself. Let things go and operate within my love that covers and forgives. Lean into grace.”

He continues with, “Remember that verse about nothing in heaven or earth can separate you from my love? No angels, no demons, no trial, no suffering?” “Well I want the love you carry for yourself to be just as indestructible as my love is for you. That is never waiver or falter. You have my permission to give yourself approval at all times, rather than disapproval.”

God’s spirit will always guide us into taking care of ourselves, insides and out because he is your creator and has given you this gift of life and he knows its value and how much it is a journey of experience with him that is a gift. Anything that cuts down, or discourages your personality, your expression, your gifts, your life, your freedom are quite possibly not from your father who delights in you as you.

Mission minded people sometimes think: I will serve God by loving other people. But we can only really love people to the capacity we have received God’s love for ourselves. You count just as much in God’s aim of love upon this earth amongst all of humanity. That God’s kingdom of peace and joy and love endure and reign within our own hearts. Permission to love ourselves fully and completely again through the eyes of Christ, this is what I call self-love, agreeing with God that he says we are lovely.

Some believers are quick to expect God’s rebuke but they never hear God’s romance. We don’t allow ourselves to hear it, because we don’t believe it’s true or because we don’t believe we deserve it. That’s a lie. God is in love with you and he wants you to give you permission to love yourself again too.

Character Covenant Creativity

Family Freedom Gift Giver

Joy Judgement Kindness Trust

Love Praise Prayer Self-love

I just wanted to share an encouraging story about divorce; not that divorce is encouraging but what can happen with anything in God’s hands.

My childhood, from my perspective, was a rough one. Not that I didn’t have an abundance of things, opportunities, and food, but that I had a first row seat in watching my parents fall out of love with one another. And if anyone’s ever experienced this you know sometimes, well rarely is it a smooth road. Unfortunately this was my first exposure to what it means to be part of a family. I think my siblings and I grew in our abilities to stay out of the way, or at least we were trying to.

This did not continue forever and after attempted investments by both parties, they decided to take different paths. Both, I am assuming grew through this relationship of their lives in more than just becoming unhappy, they learned more about themselves, learned what doesn’t work in marriage, and also became parents. I learned later that during these hard relational times of my childhood, God was carrying us through it all, even though my memories didn’t recognize him in the same way until late.

My siblings and I, now older and equipped with very thick skins in life, began to see very different people through their new separate grieving processes during our teenage years. I met a father I had–in a relational way–never felt like I had met before and a mother who spent a lot of time in her room. This was a season of life and even here, when seeds are not visible above the ground, God was growing new things in the soil below the ground. Even the winter, after things appear to die, serves a purpose.

After this season would come me watching both of my parents dare to give their hearts to another and fall in love again. Granted it was through the eyes of an angry, resentful teenager that I watched, but that season too for me passed and I grew up and I began to witness healthy communication, support, enjoyment, laughter, safety, forgiveness, and I began to have two marriages, two places I called my family.

God weaved newness in spouses for each of my parents that I had known my whole life, people whom I already trusted and already knew me too. I think that for my experience, growing up in a household of divorce-I don’t know if the two are related-but I think there was some reconciliation that needed to happen with myself. Like the kids go through a divorce with themselves inside when they live in an environment of rejection that bears fruit in divorce. Like they need permission to fall in love with themselves again, if that makes sense. Maybe it was just me.

I remember the sprouts of new life after the separation, feeling new real expressed affection first time, the asking of forgiveness by a parent the first time, the ending of yelling in communication the first time, peace, love, and enjoyment springing up from the ground of what I had known as family that had died.

I am writing this piece not to grieve but to celebrate. I am celebrating the stories God has written in the life of my parents. Each are people that I now know and am proud to call my parents. They both are experiencing love and growing in love on a daily basis. I am a witness not to one healthy marriage, but two. And now my own.

Joel and I, the day–without trying or planning–the day we ended up signing our official marriage license, which wasn’t the beautiful day we got married on Malta, which was our real wedding, in my eyes, our word before God is more real than our pen before a government, but that day happened to land on the anniversary of my parents. I wouldn’t have even known it was that day, but they did.

And God in his goodness, overcame every heartache, every hurt, every pain, and every rejection in the life he has been showing me and calling me into and redeemed all those moments in the overcoming of my marrying Joel. I said yes to everything that I trusted that God said was good about this idea of his called marriage and I trusted him to be faithful to his word of inviting me into it. God has redeemed this sad story of my childhood experience of family by restoring my own, and I am writing today, in tears now, to share about his goodness, his faithfulness, and his redemption–even in the face of divorce. He has made all things new.